People with failed marriages are not bad people

Do not judge a person by his/her marital status; it is not indicative of his/her character.

I made that quote up.

It came up as I overheard two women talking about other women. “Most of them are separated from their husbands,” they said in such disapproving tones.

You would think that in this millenium, people would start to think differently.

I, who am still quite married and never been divorced, am quite offended for these women. Why should being separated from their husbands put them in a negative light? We don’t know what kind of husbands they have, or what situations they were in.

I personally know people who have been in abusive relationships. While thankfully the abusive spouse never hurt the children, the abused have endured physical injuries over and over. Should they have stayed and hoped their partners would change? I personally wouldn’t want them to get hurt again. I’d say, get out as fast as you can.

I don’t want to generalize about who is the abusive gender, but take note that the examples I cited are from real people I know. It’s just unfortunate that from the abusive relationships I personally know, the husband is abusive and the wife is abused.

Will you still think an abused wife is bad for saving herself?

There are other reasons too, which could cause a marriage to fail. A spouse who gambles away their child’s education money. An infidel spouse. A relationship that crumbled to constant fighting.

So please, stop judging people by their failed marriages. It doesn’t mean they are bad people.

Staying in a marriage doesn’t necessarily make one a good person, nor does getting out of a marriage make one a bad person.

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